The Elephant and the Fly

A disciple and his teacher were walking through the forest. The disciple was disturbed by the fact that his mind was in constant unrest.

He asked his teacher: "Why most people's minds are restless, and only a few possess a calm mind? What can one do to still the mind?"

The teacher looked at the disciple, smiled and said:
"I will tell you a story. An elephant was standing and picking leaves from a tree. A small fly came, flying and buzzing near his ear. The elephant waved it away with his long ears. Then the fly came again, and the elephant waved it away once more".

This was repeated several times. Then the elephant asked the fly:
"Why are you so restless and noisy? Why can't you stay for a while in one place?"

The fly answered: "I am attracted to whatever I see, hear or smell. My five senses pull me constantly in all directions and I cannot resist them. What is your secret? How can you stay so calm and still?"

The elephant stopped eating and said:
"My five senses do not rule my attention. Whatever I do, I get immersed in it. Now that I am eating, I am completely immersed in eating. In this way I can enjoy my food and chew it better. I rule and control my attention, and not the other way around."

Upon hearing these words, the disciple's eyes opened wide and a smile appeared on his face. He looked at his teacher and said:
"I understand! If my five senses are in control of my mind and attention, then my mind is in constant unrest. If I am in charge of my five senses and attention, then my mind becomes calm".

"Yes, that's right", answered the teacher, " The mind is restless and goes wherever the attention is. Control your attention, and you control your mind".

Know Your Rights

Abusive Behaviour and Change

Serina* has been going out with John* for six years since they were in college. Having a quiet disposition, Serina always let John make the decisions in their relationship, from which film to watch to recently when they were thinking of purchasing a house together. John has always been protective and possessive of Serina's attention. Initially, Serina thought it to be a sign of his commitment. However, it has escalated to an extent where she was not allowed to spend time with her friends without him around, and he would question every male friend she has. He became suspicious of her male colleagues and they have been having more and more arguments because of his excessive jealousy. Not only that, John checks her mobilephone at the end of the day to see the phonecalls and SMSes she has made or received. Sometimes, John became so violently angry that he punched and hit her. However, after every violent incident, he would cry and apologise about his "bad temper", promising to change. Holding on to his promise, Serina gave him chance after chance.

However, she is beginning to feel more and more suffocated by the relationship. Thinking that things might change if they separated for a while, Serina ventured to discuss this with John. He became aggressively livid and began accusing her of having another man. He would not listen when Serina denied it and in fact started to hurl objects around the room at her. Worried for herown safety, Serina left the place and stayed over with a friend. She started to question the state of her relationship with John. Will he change?

Abusive men batter women to have power and control over their intimate partner in order to manipulate, intimidate and rule over them. Men who abuse their partners come from all races, religions, socioeconomic classes, areas of the world, educational levels and occupations. Although they may appear normal and even charming to outsiders, and even to their partners at first, once a relationship is established, they become more and more abusive.

Although there is no guarantee that men who abuse can change, it is possible for them to learn to change how they act, and more positive ways of relating to women. Men who abuse must want to change. If a man really wants to stop the violence against his partner, he must take responsibility for his action. He must stop blaming his partner, alcohol, stress, drug or anything else for provoking him to be violent. Men can also seek counselling and agree to attend several sessions.

HOW DO YOU KNOW IF THE ABUSER IS CHANGING?While a boyfriend or husband may apologise for his actions and vow to change, this can be another phase in manipulating the wife or girlfriend to stay. Consider the following questions before deciding if he has changed or is changing:

Some signs that he is changing:
#Has he completely stopped saying and doing things that frighten you?
#Can you express your anger toward him without being punished for it?
#Can he argue without being abusive or domineering?
#Does it feel safe to bring up topics that you know upset him?
#Can he listen to your opinion and respect it even when he disagrees?
#Does he respect your wishes about sex and physical contact?
#Has he stopped expecting you to do things for him?
#Can you spend time with your friends without being afraid that he will retaliate?
#Can you do other things that are important to you, such as go to school or get a job?
#Are you comfortable with the way he interacts with the children, if you have any?
#Do you feel safe leaving them alone with him?
#Is he being supportive and does he give compliments? Does he listen to what you have to say?
#Does he do his share of housework and childcare?

If the answers to most of the above are positive, then chances are, the abuser really wants to change and is making a difference.

Some signs that he is NOT changing:
#If he is receiving counselling or treatment, does he use it against you in anyway? Does he tell you that he is not as bad as the other abusers there?
#Does he tell you that you are abusive?
#Does he tell you that you owe him another chance?
#Does he say that he can't change without your support?
#Does he try to get you or the children to feel sorry for him?
#Does he instil fear in the children about the future, or finances, or where they'll live etc?
#Do you have to keep after him to attend his counselling sessions?
#Is he making his abuse sound like a lot less than it really is when he talks about it?
#Is he pressuring you to drop any protection order you may have against him?

If the answers to most of them are yes, then he is not changing his abusive behaviour.

Although everyone wants to have a healthy and long-lasting relationship, not all relationships are that way. To help build a healthy relationship, consider:

RespectThis means acting in ways that show you value your partner. You listen to his or her ideas even when they are different from yours and you treat your partner as an equal. This also means not forcing your partner to act in ways that are contrary to their wishes.
UnderstandingBeing understanding means that you think about your partner's feelings and that you care about how your behaviour might affect him or her, and your relationship.
ResponsibilityThis means that your partner can count on you. You take care not to harm your partner by, in example, taking risks that could lead to sexually transmitted diseases.

To get more information, call a woman's organisation or your nearest Welfare Office.

*Names changed to protect WAO's client's confidentiality.

Prepared by Jaclyn KeeWomen's Aid Organisation - 20 Years of Service to Women and Children
Fortnightly Column by WAO on Sunday Mail (Reprinted with permission from Sunday Mail)

Hey these are some nice tongue twisters

1 .If you understand, say “understand”. If you don’t understand, say “don’t understand”. But if you understand and say “don’t understand”.How do I understand that you understand? Understand!

2 .I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won’t wish the wish you wish to wish.

3 .Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.

4 .A sailor went to sea to see, what he could see. And all he could see was sea, sea, sea.

5 .Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People

6 .If two witches were watching two watches, which witch would watch which watch?

7 .I thought a thought.But the thought I thought wasn’t the thought I thought I thought. If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought, I wouldn’t have thought so much.
8 .Once a fellow met a fellow In a field of beans. Said a fellow to a fellow, “If a fellow asks a fellow, Can a fellow tell a fellow What a fellow means?”

9 .Mr Inside went over to see Mr Outside. Mr Inside stood outside and called to MrOutside inside. Mr Outside answered Mr Inside from inside and Told Mr Inside to come inside. Mr Inside said “NO”, and told Mr Outside to come outside. MrOutside and Mr Inside argued from inside and outside about going outside or coming inside. Finally, Mr Outside coaxed Mr Inside to come inside, then both Mr Outside and Mr Inside went outside to the riverside.

10 .SHE SELLS SEA SHELLS ON THE SEA SHORE , BUT THE SEA SHELLS THAT SHE SELLS, ON THE SEA SHORE ARE NOT THE REAL ONES

11 .The owner of the inside inn was inside his inside inn with his inside outside his inside inn.

12 .If one doctor doctors another doctor does the doctor who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does the doctor doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors? “When a doctor falls ill another doctor doctor’s the doctor. Does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctor the doctor in his own way or does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctors the doctor in the doctor’s way”

13 .We surely shall see the sun shine shortly. Whether the weather be fine, Or whether the weather be not, Whether the weather be cold Or whether the weather be hot, We’ll weather the weather Whatever the weather, Whether we like it or not. watch? Whether the weather is hot. Whether the weather is cold. Whether the weather is either or not. It is whether we like it or not.

14 .Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely.

15 .A flea and a fly in a flue Said the fly “Oh what should we do” Said the flea” Let us fly Said the fly”Let us flee” So they flew through a flaw in the flue

16 .If you tell Tom to tell a tongue-twister his tongue will be twisted as tongue-twister twists tongues.

17 .Mr. See owned a saw.And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw. Now See’s saw sawed Soar’s seesaw Before Soar saw See, Which made Soar sore.Had Soar seen See’s saw Before See sawed Soar’s seesaw, See’s saw would not have sawed Soar’s seesaw. So See’s saw sawed Soar’s seesaw.But it was sad to see Soar so sore Just because See’s saw sawed Soar’s seesaw

Song : Raama kadha

Movie : Bharatham
Singer: Yesudas
Music : Raveendran
Lyrics: Kaithapram
Director: Sibi Malayil
*******************************************************

aa….aa…..aa…..aa….
Raama kadha gaanalayam
Mangalam nin thamburuvil
Pakaruka saagarame
Sruthilaya saagarame
Saketham paadukayaay he raamaa…..
Kaatharayaam shaarikayaay Saketham paadukayaay veendum (raama kadha)

Aarannya kaandam thedee
Seethaa hrudhayam thengee (aarannya)
Vagmeekangalil etho…
Thaapasa mounamunarnnu veendum (raama kadha)

Saarisa sasarisa sasarisa saarisa
Ririnini ririnini madhanisa
Rigari ririgari ririgari rigari
Gagariri gagariri sarigama
Paadhapa papadhapa papdhapa paadhapa
Saasadhaadha Saasadhaadha madhanisa
Saarisa sasarisa sasarisa sasarisa
Gaagariri gaagariri madhaniri

Indra dhanussukal neettee dhevakal
Aadhi naama gangayaadi raghupathi
Raama jayam raghu raama jayam
Sree bharatha vaakya bindu choodi
Sodhara paadhuka poojayil aathma padham
Pranavam vidarnnulanjulanja sarayuvil
Manthra mathanga tharanga sukham
Sara vega theevra thaalmeeki
Maaruthiyaay ….aa…aa….
Gala gandha soona dhoopa
Deepa kalayaay mathra yanthra Thanthra kalithamunaroo
Saama gaana lahariyode anayoo
Raamaa………..
Sree raamaaa…. Raamaa…..Ramaaa

10 Essential Health Tips (The Basics to Practice Every Day)

"He who has health has hope, and he who has hope has everything."

-Arabian Proverb

Move More

Make it a daily challenge to find ways to move your body. Climb stairs if given a choice between that and escalators or elevators. Walk your dog; chase your kids; toss balls with friends, mow the lawn. Anything that moves your limbs is not only a fitness tool, it's a stress buster. Think 'move' in small increments of time. It doesn't have to be an hour in the gym or a 45-minute aerobic dance class or tai chi or kickboxing. But that's great when you're up to it. Meanwhile, move more. Thought for the day: Cha, Cha, Cha…. Then do it!

Cut Fat

Avoid the obvious such as fried foods, burgers and other fatty meats (i.e. pork, bacon, ham, salami, ribs and sausage). Dairy products such as cheese, cottage cheese, milk and cream should be eaten in low fat versions. Nuts and sandwich meats, mayonnaise, margarine, butter and sauces should be eaten in limited amounts. Most are available in lower fat versions such as substitute butter, fat free cheeses and mayonnaise. Thought for the day: Lean, mean, fat-burning machine…. Then be one!

Quit Smoking

The jury is definitely in on this verdict. Ever since 1960 when the Surgeon General announced that smoking was harmful to your health, Americans have been reducing their use of tobacco products that kill. Just recently, we've seen a surge in smoking in adolescents and teens. Could it be the Hollywood influence? It seems the stars in every movie of late smoke cigarettes. Beware. Warn your children of the false romance or 'tough guy' stance of Hollywood smokers. Thought for the day: Give up just one cigarette…. the next one.

Reduce Stress

Easier said than done, stress busters come in many forms. Some techniques recommended by experts are to think positive thoughts. Spend 30 minutes a day doing something you like. (i.e.,Soak in a hot tub; walk on the beach or in a park; read a good book; visit a friend; play with your dog; listen to soothing music; watch a funny movie. Get a massage, a facial or a haircut. Meditate. Count to ten before losing your temper or getting aggravated. Avoid difficult people when possible. Thought for the day: When seeing red, think pink clouds….then float on them.

Protect Yourself from Pollution

If you can't live in a smog-free environment, at least avoid smoke-filled rooms, high traffic areas, breathing in highway fumes and exercising near busy thoroughfares. Exercise outside when the smog rating is low. Exercise indoors in air conditioning when air quality is good. Plant lots of shrubbery in your yard. It's a good pollution and dirt from the street deterrent. Thought for the day: 'Smoke gets in your eyes'…and your mouth, and your nose and your lungs as do pollutants….hum the tune daily.

Wear Your Seat Belt

Statistics show that seat belts add to longevity and help alleviate potential injuries in car crashes. Thought for the day: Buckle down and buckle up.

Floss Your Teeth

Recent studies make a direct connection between longevity and teeth flossing. Nobody knows exactly why. Perhaps it's because people who floss tend to be more health conscious than people who don't? Thought for the day: Floss and be your body's boss.

Avoid Excessive Drinking (Avoid Drinks)

While recent studies show a glass of wine or one drink a day (two for men) can help protect against heart disease, more than that can cause other health problems such as liver and kidney disease and cancer. Thought for the day: A jug of wine should last a long time.

Keep a Positive Mental Outlook

There's a definitive connection between living well and healthfully and having a cheerful outlook on life. Thought for the day: You can't be unhappy when you're smiling or singing.

Choose Your Parents Well

The link between genetics and health is a powerful one. But just because one or both of your parents died young in ill health doesn't mean you cannot counteract the genetic pool handed you. Thought for the day: Follow these basic tips for healthy living and you can better control your own destiny.

Cigarette Smoking and Cardiovascular DiseasesAHA Scientific Position

Cigarette smoking is the most important preventable cause of premature death in the United States. It accounts for nearly 440,000 of the more than 2.4 million annual deaths. Cigarette smokers have a higher risk of developing several chronic disorders. These include fatty buildups in arteries, several types of cancer and chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (lung problems). Atherosclerosis (buildup of fatty substances in the arteries) is a chief contributor to the high number of deaths from smoking. Many studies detail the evidence that cigarette smoking is a major cause of coronary heart disease, which leads to heart attack.

How does smoking affect coronary heart disease risk?

Cigarette and tobacco smoke, high blood cholesterol, high blood pressure, physical inactivity, obesity and diabetes are the six major independent risk factors for coronary heart disease that you can modify or control. Cigarette smoking is so widespread and significant as a risk factor that the Surgeon General has called it "the leading preventable cause of disease and deaths in the United States."
Cigarette smoking increases the risk of coronary heart disease by itself. When it acts with other factors, it greatly increases risk. Smoking increases blood pressure, decreases exercise tolerance and increases the tendency for blood to clot. Smoking also increases the risk of recurrent coronary heart disease after bypass surgery.
Cigarette smoking is the most important risk factor for young men and women. It produces a greater relative risk in persons under age 50 than in those over 50.
Women who smoke and use oral contraceptives greatly increase their risk of coronary heart disease and stroke compared with nonsmoking women who use oral contraceptives.
Smoking decreases HDL (good) cholesterol. Cigarette smoking combined with a family history of heart disease also seems to greatly increase the risk.

What about cigarette smoking and stroke and peripheral arterial disease?

Studies show that cigarette smoking is an important risk factor for stroke. Inhaling cigarette smoke produces several effects that damage the cerebrovascular system. Women who take oral contraceptives and smoke increase their risk of stroke many times. Smoking also creates a higher risk for peripheral arterial disease and aortic aneurysm.

What about cigar and pipe smoking?

People who smoke cigars or pipes seem to have a higher risk of death from coronary heart disease (and possibly stroke), but their risk isn't as great as that of cigarette smokers. This is probably because they're less likely to inhale the smoke. Currently there's very little scientific information on cigar and pipe smoking and cardiovascular disease, especially among young men, who represent the vast majority of cigar users.What about passive or secondhand smoke?
The link between seconhand smoke (also called environmental tobacco smoke) and disease is well known, and the connection to cardiovascular-related disability and death is also clear. About 37,000 to 40,000 people die from heart and blood vessel disease caused by other people's smoke each year. Of these, about 35,000 nonsmokers die from coronary heart disease, which includes heart attack.

SONG OF A DREAM

by: Sarojini Naidu (1879-1949)

NCE in the dream of a night I stood
Lone in the light of a magical wood,
Soul-deep in visions that poppy-like sprang;
And spirits of Truth were the birds that sang,
And spirits of Love were the stars that glowed,
And spirits of Peace were the streams that flowed
In that magical wood in the land of sleep.




Lone in the light of that magical grove,
I felt the stars of the spirits of Love
Gather and gleam round my delicate youth,
And I heard the song of the spirits of Truth;
To quench my longing I bent me low
By the streams of the spirits of Peace that flow
In that magical wood in the land of sleep.

My Marriage

This day I married my best friend...

the one I laugh with as we share life's wondrous zest,

as we find new enjoyments and experience all that's best....

the one I live for because the world seems brighter

as our happy times are better and our burdens feel much lighter....

the one I love with every fiber of my soul.

We used to feel vaguely incomplete,

now together we are whole.

For my Sweet Heart...

I cannot promise you a life of sunshine;
I cannot promise riches, wealth, or gold;
I cannot promise you an easy pathway
That leads away from change or growing old.

But I can promise all my heart's devotion;
A smile to chase away your tears of sorrow;
A love that's ever true and ever growing;
A hand to hold in yours through each tomorrow.

Yes, I'll Marry You

Everyone Needs Someone... By Helen Steiner Rice

People need people and friends need friends And we all need love for a full life depends Not on vast riches or great acclaim, Not on success or on worldly fame, But just in knowing that someone cares And holds us close in their thoughts and prayers- For only the knowledge that we're understood Makes everyday living feel wonderfully good, And we rob ourselves of life's greatest need When we "lock up our hearts" and fail to heed The outstretched hand reaching to find A kindred spirit whose heart and mind Are lonely and longing to somehow share Our joys and sorrows and to make us aware That life's completeness and richness depends On the things we share with our loved ones and friends.

True Love

Love comes through the eyes
That help me see this wonderful surprise
I see this wonderful man
Whom of which I can always stand

Love comes through the ears
That never hear fears
They help me hear the words from you
And help me pull through

Love comes through the hands
That make you my man
Your touch creates chills
Which make me go through many thrills

Love comes through the mouth
That will one day make you my spouse
You say the right things at the right time
Which help me keep my state of mind

Love comes through dreams
That make us gleam
I dream about life with you in it
And everything seems lit

Love comes through smiles
That extend for miles
You can see all the joy
That comes from my baby boy

Love comes through affection
That makes me feel your protection
I feel safe and secure
And always come back for more

Love comes through the seasons
That give me plenty of reasons
Reasons that I Love You
And make us true

Love comes through the heart
That makes me want to never part
Your heart is all I need to get by
Without making me cry

Love comes through me
Which will set you free
I will give you all my love
That was sent as a gift from above

Love comes through you
That is always new
You come up with the sweetest things
And I know we can handle whatever love brings

Love comes through each one of us
That makes us a must
I don't think I'd make it without you
And your love so very true.

New Year is the time to bid farewell to the old year and welcome the coming year. It is the time to forget and get past memories that are no longer useful or worth pondering upon. It is the time for new beginnings and new starts in life. New Year has a message for each one of us. One should let go of the past that has bad memories and accept what has happened, has happened for some reason. Instead of clinging onto your past and things that have gone, it is better to let go.There is an old saying that goes, "Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened".

This essentially means that there is no use crying over spilt milk. You cannot turn back time and do things that would benefit you. Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days you are the statue. New year is the time of new beginnings. It is time to start afresh and do things that would make someone else smile. Make a pledge to make at least one person happy. You will see the difference it can make in both your lives.

The essential message of New Year is let go off the past and embrace life as it comes to you. You will be happier and merrier that way.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!